I'm delusional. I don't proclaim out loud to the people around me that i am still upset that i got rejected flat out by someone whom i thought i really really liked... and well, i'm still bitter about it... but right now, maybe i'm just feeling a little sense of emptiness..

I see my friends with their partner, and i see that they really love each other.... and i just think to myself... i want that. No, i won't be upset around them... in fact, i'm really happy FOR them. They're my friends, and i've formed friendships with their partners as well. I'm totally open to them, and often enough, i go out with them.... well, quite a lot actually. Always the 3rd person... but it didnt rally bother me... cuz i'm friends with both parties.

But sometimes, i do feel lonely, i do feel like i want to be needed, want someone to be interested in me. Today, I was just having a chat with someone... and there goes my imagination, thinking that he might have a hint of interest in me... like whuuuut?? ok he keeps observing me, but maybe he just observes everyone! Right? Argh Whatever...

Ya, sue me. I like attention. I think those are my cheap thrills, knowing that someone is mildly interested in me... Ya, shoot me, i like to receive those kind of attention from guys ok...

I'm just searching, I want to feel empowered, like i have the ability to make guys turn their heads and look at me, even for a while... of course, it would be preferred if the guy is decent-looking... anything less, and they're just creeps.

Well, as far as i know, not a lot of people read my blog... and blogs aren't read as feverently as before... that's why i'm saying all these things... I don't care anymore... i may look desperate.... i'm not ok... i'm just... i just need someone to fill up this empty void. This void, which was created by false love, betrayal, regret, disrespect, and fickled-mindedness.

Hey, don't judge desperate people... now that i think about it, i kinda understand how they feel. of course, there are those who are truly sluts and just crave guys attention or go boy crazy, and there are those who have been hurt multiple times, and all they are craving for is just someone to prove how special they are...

I'm pretty independent, and i'm pretty confident in myself... i guess lately, i just need some reassurance. I want to experience chemistry with someone.