Sometimes i think i have been there, done that, but then i realise that i haven't quite comprehended the intricacy of relationships, be it frienships, family relations, or love. Recently, i've come to see love from a very different angle. Sure, i knew i had the love of my friends and family, but i was regrettably too caught up with all the romance that i forget the strongest love comes from those i already have around me. An end of a relationship made me realise i had so much more love than i could ever imagine, and i really thank God for this strong support system i already have.

Time is an ever important friend, but it also gets on my nerves. With time, i realised how long i have known someone and yet with time, i've realised how much i've missed out on that person's life. Time created a reason, time created a confusion and time gave rise to a renewing of friendship and heartaches. Perhaps Jeannette Winterson was right when she wrote "Time is a great deadener" in Oranges. You can either see it as time giving you the opportunity, or giving you a new conflict for you to deal with. It's a bit of both for me. Me, trying to be the optimistic one, sees the opportunity, but with it comes a whole string of conflicting emotions and thoughts that it brings me to stasis. Which fork in the road do i take? Should i retreat or move on? Should i even think so deeply into the things that have already happened and wish for more to come?

Our lives are made up of so many different aspects, the notion of love and relationships is but a small matter in this ever growing whirl of the game of life. Studies, career, hobbies, dreams, interests, adventure, risks, finances, are just part of the many things happening in life. Yet i've come to realise that, relationships aside, love connects seemingly every aspect of life. You can beg to differ, but everything we do, is connected to this emotion, or the lack of this. You either love what u're doing or hate it. It's the extremes on a spectrum.

Love spun a web around the little things that we do and before we know it, it has created this interconnection in our lives, whether we like to acknowledge it or not.

You can say i'm a highly emotional person, or a very social person, or someone who has too much time to spend now and is thinking about the complicated situation of my life and vis a vis life in general. Agree or disagree what you like, but damn, this is my most personal blog post yet. My motto of not posting anything too personal has gone down the drain with this one.

Isn't it interesting tho, that when we make an observation about our lives and thus, life in general, we wanna share with others? It's as if a nagging part of yourself is saying that by sharing this, it'll give some insight to whoever, if there is any, reading this. Or in another sense, writing to make sense of my thoughts at the expense of other people's confusion or approval, whichever comes first.

My life is just damn bloody complicated, but it just makes life so much more livable.